the diary of a rich man: in the beginning...

the diary of a rich man

Thursday, October 4, 2007

in the beginning...

everything has a start.

whenever i am about to take big steps in my life, i always look back. it's as if the first requirement to know exactly where i am going is to soberly judge myself from as far back as i can remember up to where i am standing right this very moment. it's like emptying a sack of potatoes on top of a table with a huge broken balance scale favoring one side. good potatoes on the left, bad ones on the right. and after i'm done with the entire pile, i ask myself, "have i done enough to become a good potato?" 'cause you see, there aren't that many bad potatoes, but the scale tilts more to the right. i know for a fact (and have potatoes as evidence) that i've done a lot. that i've done something. BUT HAVE I DONE ENOUGH?

i'm facing a big potato right now. part of me says i should go this way, the other part of me disagrees. people call it a crossroads sometimes. it's where you choose a path and you're never the same. but, see, the fault in that symbolism is that people don't walk on a straight road for most of their lives and then suddenly encounter a three-way split! i don't want to believe that i am the only one making little, daily decisions that have big effects on who i am going to become. if we're going to make this metaphor work, there has to be crossroads for every step. i don't think the road even exists. because if it did, how easy it would be to just follow the bread crumbs back to that road split and choose the other path. how simple it would be to right the wrongs. to 'turn back time.'

in the beginning there was a choice. and it was the first among countless choices...

posted by Paul Tolentino @ 12:22 PM

0 Comments: